Monday, November 16, 2015

The Hullhumpers Saga, Part One

The following story illustrates how one capsuleer can make a difference. The simple act of destroying an MTU led to over thirty players gaining a greater understanding of the game through reeducation. Many of those players took their first steps on the Golden Path. In addition, many of those mentioned here were on trial accounts. What better time to send them upon The Golden Path, than before they learn the greed and poor habits of the carebear?

While routinely patrolling space for lost MTU, I destroyed one belonging to JFDeckard of Hullhumpers Deep Space Mineral Extraction, an open recruitment carebear mining operation. Soon after I began to hear whispers of a trap being set to catch my sacred Moa in the act of MTU destruction. This of course is nothing new. Often players will set traps in mission hubs to catch MTU hunters, namely me, at work. A Stratios tried to trap me in Tintoh; a Vagabond attempted to jump me in Maurasi, and so forth. They failed — moving on.

A few days later, a simple D-scan of the Sankkassen system revealed a Tengu owned by one of the Hullhumpers, as well as a Raven, a Venture, and the bait MTU. Knowing a trap was afoot, I decided to lay a counter trap. A fleet was arranged, with my Dominix, named Lane Bryant, as well as two remote armor repairing Augorors. All totalled, I would have four remote reps operating on me at any given time. My task: Simply neut the Tengu to death, following which the Raven would die with ease.

Unfortunately, due to a piloting error by myself, CONCORD Police Commander also arrived on the Hullhumper side of the fight, and destroyed the Dominix. The Augs were late to the party. Though, as we know, CONCORD Police Commander’s DPS can outmatch any Augs’ reps.

Of course, no ship lost while sending newbies and miners along the Golden Path is a true loss, but rather a donation to the cause. Thus I resolved to remove the obstacle of CONCORD Police Commander, and wardec Hullhumpers Deep Space Mineral Extraction.

Looking back now, it seemed that Butch Von Hullhumper, CEO of Hullhumpers Deep Space Mining Extraction, never quite understood what he was signing up for when he was dropping the following tears in local:

Butch von Hullhumper > its fun to make you do what i want

Or perhaps even more prophetic:

Butch von Hullhumper > get back to me when you have killed 300 mil of our MTUs

Instructions unclear. Unfortunately I couldn’t find 300 mil worth of Hullhumper MTUs. Instead I had to settle for his members, their barges, and their pods. Apparently what Butch wanted was for me to destroy his corp in battle, scam his members, and turn his corp against itself. After he got my dec message:

Butch von Hullhumper > LOL YES!!!!
ComedianII > Will be fun
Butch von Hullhumper > omg get trolled much

The result was a campaign of reeducation that included twenty eight Hullhumper ships killed by Rascals Brigade and an additional two ships destroyed with cooperation from a mutual war deccing alliance. No Rascals were harmed in the making of this wardec. There was laughter, there were tears (great buckets of tears), but most importantly of all, many members of Hullhumpers Deep Space Mineral Extraction were guided through their early stages of capsuleer development, and set firmly upon The Golden Path.

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